Always milking it



Oh F...!


So a road sweeper is driving down the street, when it makes a rather ambitious attempt to get through a narrow gap and ends up damaging a car. For reasons unknown, the driver doesn't bother to stop. Fortunately, one of the neighbours has CCTV which caught the whole thing.

An old bird wrote Mrs Buckos car off last week by crashing into it and another one, while they were parked up. Mrs B has just replaced the wreck with a £1500 Land Rover Freelander, the most expensive car we have ever owned. She's pig in shit, happy.

Anyhoo, that story never made the papers. Why? Because quotes like...

No bother, the insurance company are taking care of it.

...don't get you your fifteen minutes.

You want something that gushes emotion. Oh, here's a good one:

The 31-year-old mother-of-one, who is seven months pregnant, said she had been visiting an ill relative when the crash happened.

Mother. Pregnant. Visiting ill relative. That ticks a few boxes.

Why are they always pregnant or ill or both? And what difference does it make to the insurance claim?

Just bloody milking it.

Silly people

Everything causes cancer. At least that's what we keep hearing. In fact we hear it so much, people become petrified of the things that we are told cause cancer. Their fear can become so irrational that it can turn into active hatred for other people who use, consume and enjoy the things we are told cause cancer.

Even where there is no shred of evidence, nor has there ever been, that they are in any danger.

Passive smoking? Nope, CB radio masts.

A radio enthusiast who erected a 30ft mast in his back garden without planning permission has dismissed claims it could give neighbours cancer.
Armando Martins, 73, has also had to fight off accusations the signal from the 10-metre aerial is interfering with people’s pacemakers and hearing aids.
But residents at the Thornhurst sheltered bungalow complex in Beltinge are continuing their battle to get the mast taken down, with Mr Martins recently forced to apply for retrospective planning permission.

There are many people who believe various kinds of radio waves cause cancer, yet there has never been any evidence to support this theory.

Yet here we have a group of old people in sheltered housing who, because of their ignorant theories, want this radio enthusiast to give up his hobby. The reasons they give could be hilarious in other circumstances.

Next-door neighbour Rose Clayson, 78, has lived at the complex for five years. She said: “Last year I developed cancer, and since then three others nearby have also have got it. It could just be a coincidence.

Yes it could be. It could also be down to the fact that you're 78 years old. Cancer is a disease of old age.

“It also affects my hearing aid because I hear a buzzing noise, and is doing something to my television signal. When we get any bad weather we get howling through our television aerial.”

So the aeriel creates bad weather which in turn interferes with the telly? And how do you know the aeriel causes the buzzing noise in your hearing aid? Maybe it's just fucked?

Fellow resident Carol Barfoot said: “He has not got planning permission for it and whenever other residents want to put up something like a satellite television dish, we’re told we can’t.

That's another issue. That's just jealousy. You didn't get your toy so he shouldn't be allowed to have his.

“Four people in the complex have been diagnosed with cancer all virtually next door to each other.

You'll find that happens quite often in areas of sheltered accommodation where the residents are all getting on a bit and quite susceptible to cancer. You'll find a few alcoholics down the sally army too.

“It doesn’t affect all pacemakers, but some people have told me it’s making them not work the way they are supposed to. One man told me he was fine until he moved here a year ago.”

What happens when a pacemaker doesn't work properly? I wonder if anyone has gone to the doctors to find out exactly what is wrong with their pacemakers or if it's just easier to blame a CB mast?

But Mr Martins, who has operated a radio since 1962 and erected the mast in 2012, denied that it can cause health problems and interrupt hearing aids or pacemakers.
He said: “People don’t understand and ask ‘what is that big aerial for?’, but they don’t understand and don’t know what it’s about.
“I get all sorts of remarks made, saying it interrupts with television or pacemakers, but it broadcasts on a totally different frequency. How can a piece of metal interfere?”

Quite.

He said: “It’s people who don’t know what it’s about and who are interfering and giving me grief all the time. It’s my hobby, but everywhere I go people complain. It makes my life hell.”

East Kent Housing Association runs the complex and says mediation between Mr Martins and his neighbours has broken down.

There should be no need for mediation. These interfering numb nuts should be told to get lost.

Its manager, Michelle Simmonds, added tests carried out by Ofcom have not revealed evidence of any interference from the mast.

Ahh. Evidence. I wonder if that will shut them up?

Nah.

The comments are worth a read.

Friday Tunes

I wasn't going to do a Friday Tunes tonight as I'm straight off to Mrs Buckos allotment after work to commence some much needed clear up. It's totally overgrown and really needs sorting out fast if we have any hope of growing anything on it next year.

But there I was, reading the Friday Funnies over at Microdaves.

why not pop over to Bucko’s and see if he’s got some more tunes to keep you entertained. (He better had, after this plug….)

What choice do I have? Here's some tunes. I hope you find them entertaining. I'm off to do battle with a field full of weeds, with the aid of some rusty gardening tools, a case of Boddingtons and a big cigar.















Since when did voting become compulsory?

I received a letter from Blackburn and Darwen council today. It says they are updating the way voters are registered, but they have my details and I don't need to do anything further.

Mrs Bucko also received a letter, but hers said she needs to update her records or risk an £80 fine.

As far as I'm aware, voting or registering to vote is not compulsory. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

Mrs B is happy to be registered as a voter so she can vote UKIP when the time comes, yet now she's been threatened with a fine, she's considering telling them to shove their registration up their arses.

I've advised against this if she wants to keep voting UKIP, but I'm also interested to see what would happen if she did tell them to get stuffed.

Has anyone else received a similar threat?

Friday Tunes

Hi folks, it's been a couple of weeks since I visited the blog. Stuff has just been mad bollocks around Moose Meadows lately.

Having said that, nothing of any interest has happened, it's just been busy boring stuff. Oh, some old bird who thought it was a good idea to have a kip while driving, crashed into Mrs Buckos car while it was parked outside the house.

In place of a beaten up Frontera, she's been given a kick ass big 4x4 as a courtesy car. It's a Vauxhall something, packed with unnecessary gadgets and 21k on the clock. We're hoping to get the Frontera written off now and put the payout towards something better. It will only be in the region of 5-6 hundred quid so we will add to and get her another old banger that's not quite so banged.

Anyway, enough about cars, this is supposed to be Friday Tunes.

We get invited to all the best parties!

There are quite a few amateur bands in Darwen. It's a good place for live music and there is a lot of talent about.

One of the old chaps who plays in a band has a yearly party for his daughters birthday. We're fortunate enough to get an invite as we work with another chap from the band.

He live in a terraced house with an unusually long yard. At the bottom of the yard he's built a stage. There is also an awning covering the yard for rain and some of the local bands come down and play at this party.

He has good neighbours too. They don't complain, they join in. In my opinion, it's the ultimate smokey drinkey.

I forgot to take a decent camera, so had to use my phone, which is pants and ran out of charge after an hour or so, so sorry for the picture quality. I also took a couple of videos but the phone makes it sound as though they screeched their way through the songs, so I won't play those as it will taint your perception.



I've never seen this duo before as they are new to the scene, but they did well. They also played quite an interesting mix of songs, some you wouldn't expect.

I'm racking my brains trying to think of the real good one they did, but it escapes me now, so here's Oasis, one of the more mainstream ones they did.





This chap has done a bit round town, but he does all his own stuff, so there's nothing on Youtube. Yet. If he makes it big, remember you saw him here first.

What's he called? Sorry, no idea.



These guys were really good - The Catalonia Wine Mixer. I called them the Catatonia Wife Beaters after a few scoops, but the former is definitely correct.

They did a good set but this was my favourite.







I'm having a hard time remembering who did what now. There was a lot of beer, it was a couple of weeks ago and I forgot my notebook.

Cherrybomb came on later and did some of their classics and a couple of the bands joined forces for 'Another Brick in the Wall'.

The next are just a few that I remember hearing. I'm off to the pub next. Maybe a pint will jog my memory.







Roll on next July. Now where's that notepad?